If you want the yellow stuffed dog back, seen in this picture here, send $1,000,000 in unmarked bills to the International Greenport Savings Bank. Shuggie (sp?) is safely tucked away in a box in a moldy basement somewhere. If you want to see him again, complete the transfer by midnight Sunday. Oh yeah, why is it that Max looks nothing like his father at three weeks?
Sincerely,
Reader Gail
Dear Gail,
You have it all wrong. My true love was that nasty blanket that I carried with me everywhere. That to me is priceless. Yellow dogs wearing bow ties are not my thing. Hopefully this photo dispells the myth that Max looks like me at his present age. In addition, what exactly are you wearing in this picture? And finally, this photo is proof. Had I been breast fed I would have made it into Harvard. Thanks, mom.
-Ed.
Posts
Dear Continuing Tales of Max Henry Editor:
ReplyDeleteThe alarm that Shuggie has expressed at your disdain for him is shocking. He was observed quivering in his carefully maintained box, heartbroken that the little boy he loved so dearly does not return his affection. The ranson demand stands if you want to see Shuggie again. And as for that blanket that you claimed to have loved so much...wouldn't you just like to know its fate?
Thank you for your intended compliment regarding my attire. I believe it was a designer caftan by Valentino...or possibly drapes that were whipped into a caftan. After all, if Scarlet O'Hara can recycle, why can't I?
Yes, you were bottle fed. You may still be on the bottle for all I know. And as for that Harvard nonsense, who says you were not accepted? I know people in the post office!
Reader Gail